The death of a parent is one of the most difficult experiences a child can face.
Grief affects children differently depending on their age, personality, understanding of death and the support available around them. Some children may openly express their emotions, while others may appear unaffected, become withdrawn or show their feelings through changes in their behaviour.
There is no right or wrong way for a child to grieve. Children often move in and out of grief, revisiting their feelings as they grow and develop a deeper understanding of what has happened.
With honesty, reassurance and support, children can learn to cope with their loss and continue to develop in a healthy way.
Children may experience a wide range of emotional, physical and behavioural responses after the death of a parent.
These can include:
Sadness and tearfulness
Confusion
Anxiety or fear
Anger or frustration
Clinginess
Difficulty concentrating
Changes in sleep
Changes in appetite
Withdrawal from friends or activities
Regression to younger behaviours
Mood swings
Worry about losing other loved ones
Some children may repeatedly ask the same questions as they try to understand what has happened. Others may not talk about the death much at all.
These reactions are usually a normal part of childhood grief.
Children's understanding of death changes as they grow.
Very young children may:
Struggle to understand that death is permanent
Believe the person will return
Feel frightened when separated from loved ones
Become more clingy or dependent
Express grief through play or behaviour
They may not fully understand what has happened but will still notice changes around them and need reassurance and support.
Children in this age group usually understand that death is permanent but may still struggle emotionally.
They may:
Feel responsible for the death
Become angry or withdrawn
Worry about the future
Experience feelings of guilt
Struggle to express emotions
Some children may try to appear strong while hiding how upset they feel.
Teenagers often understand death in a similar way to adults but may have additional challenges as they navigate adolescence.
They may:
Withdraw from family members
Spend more time with friends
Become angry, anxious or depressed
Take greater risks
Appear unaffected whilst struggling internally
Teenagers often want independence but still need support, reassurance and opportunities to talk when they feel ready.