Fact file: Bereavement

Common reactions to grief 

Grief affects everyone differently, but there are some common emotional, physical and behavioural responses. 

Emotional reactions 

You may experience: 

• Sadness 

• Shock or numbness 

• Anger 

• Guilt 

• Anxiety 

• Loneliness 

• Fear 

• Relief (particularly if someone had been unwell for a long time) 

• Difficulty concentrating 

• Feeling overwhelmed 

These feelings may come and go and can change from day to day. 

Physical reactions 

Grief can have a physical impact on the body, including: 

• Exhaustion 

• Sleep difficulties 

• Changes in appetite 

• Headaches 

• Stomach upset 

• Feeling generally unwell 

• Increased heart rate 

• Poor concentration 

These symptoms are common and often reduce over time. 

Behavioural reactions 

Some people may: 

• Withdraw from friends and family 

• Cry more than usual 

• Find daily tasks difficult 

• Avoid places or situations that remind them of the person who died 

• Use alcohol or other unhealthy coping mechanisms 

• Lose interest in hobbies and activities 

Everyone reacts differently and not everyone will experience all of these reactions.

Understanding the grieving process 

Many people have heard of the five stages of grief: 

• Denial 

• Anger 

• Bargaining 

• Depression 

• Acceptance 

Not everyone experiences all of these stages, and they don't happen in a fixed order. People often move back and forth between different feelings and emotions throughout their grief journey. 

Acceptance doesn't mean forgetting someone or "getting over" the loss. It means learning to live with the reality of the loss and finding a way forward while continuing to remember the person who died. 

Complicated grief 

Most people gradually find ways to adjust to life after a loss. However, some people continue to feel overwhelmed by grief for a prolonged period. 

This is sometimes known as complicated grief. 

Signs may include: 

• Intense longing for the person who died 

• Feeling stuck in grief 

• Difficulty accepting the death 

• Feeling disconnected from life 

• Avoiding reminders of the person 

• Struggling to carry out normal daily activities 

• Feeling that life has lost its meaning 

If grief continues to have a significant impact on daily life for many months, it may be helpful to seek professional support.

Talk to someone you trust 

Talking about the person who died and sharing memories can help many people process their grief. 

This could be a friend, family member, colleague, faith leader or support group. You don't have to go through bereavement alone. 

Create a memory box 

Many people find comfort in collecting photographs, letters, cards and meaningful objects that remind them of the person they have lost. 

A memory box can become a special place to revisit positive memories when you feel ready.

Look after your physical wellbeing 

Grief can be exhausting, so try to be kind to yourself. 

Focus on: 

• Getting enough rest 

• Eating regular meals 

• Staying hydrated 

• Being physically active when possible 

• Taking things one day at a time 

Small acts of self-care can make a difference during difficult periods. 

Find ways to remember them 

Many people find comfort in creating ongoing ways to remember someone they have lost. 

This might include: 

• Lighting a candle 

• Visiting a meaningful place 

• Looking through photographs 

• Celebrating birthdays or anniversaries 

• Attending memorial events 

• Supporting a cause that was important to them 

There is no right or wrong way to remember someone.